This Is Now

I am now 19 years old. Oh goodness I’m old! Every year is more depressing as I feel my younger, sheltered and innocent self slipping farther and further away.

 Last Sunday I ran the Bonn Half Marathon. It was an amazing experience. There where over 7,500 people running the race. Everyone was given a electronic chip to attache to their shoe so that your official time started and stopped exactly when you crossed the start/finish lines. I was in the 3rd starting box and didn’t get across the line until ten minutes after the first gun had gone off. It was perfect weather and a beautiful course. 12.1 miles, if you don’t know how long a 1/2 marathon is. I finished in 1.52. I was hoping to go under 1.45, but I feel that for my first time it was good. Also in my age group I came in FOURTH!!!! whoooot!!! (okay after you’ve read that and thought ‘wow she’s such a good runner, I will tell you there were only 17 people in my division. but still)  Marco and Frank came to watch, and two of my track friends ran it with me. After I crossed the finish line I was dying for a drink of water and had to laugh when I noticed everyone was holding beers. It was before 11am and all the runners were getting refueled with free beer. Only in Germany.
 
 Thursday night I had to babysit while Frank and Cristina took advantage of the warm weather to play golf. They didn’t end up coming home until after 10:30 so I got a late start out. I meet up with some friends in Köln to celebrate whats translates into ‘Dance into May’. Everyone goes out to ‘dance into may’. Tied to that is the German equivalent of Valentines Day and at some point during the night groups of boys go out into the woods together and cut down trees which they bring to their girlfriends house (while she’s sleeping). They decorate the tree and leave it someplace in her yard. They come to get it back at the end of may at which point the girl must present them with a case of beer. (such a German holiday!) I sadly did not receive a said tree.

 My friend Julian (he was an exchange student at my high school my junior year, and I went to oktober fest in the fall with him, you may remember) came for the weekend and arrived on Friday after noon. Friday was a national Holiday (the reason everyone can go out and dance into may) so absolutely everything was closed. Julian and I hiked up a near by mountain topped with a ruined castle. I was dead tired and we called it a night early. On saturday we went into Köln to tour the Dom and do some shopping. In the evening we meet up with a bunch of my friends for a night out in Bonn. On the river there was a fest going on with thousands and thousands of people, food, rides, things to buy that no one needs, and live music. Everyone sprawls out in the park, and we took a place next to a pound. We spent the evening enjoying ourselves and at 11:30 their was a HUGE fireworks show. At 12 everyone sang me ‘Happy Birthday’.  Afterwords we hiked back to the train station and made our way into Köln to go to a club. However by the time we arrived there I realized it wouldn’t be good if I stumbled into my birthday breakfast drunk and without sleep, so I scratched the club and got home around 6am. Marco and Cristina had decorated the kitchen and we had a lovely birthday breakfast. Marco brought down his guitar and played/sang me a a Birthday song.  He also drew me a picture and wrapped it up (Pablo did not, which I was really hurt by. And honestly a little surprised that Frank and Cristina didn’t make him!) and I was given a snazzy new digital camera! 
 Julian caught a train home around 11. I went with the fam out to lunch and then while everyone was napping/doing homework I opened my presents from home. In the afternoon two of my track friends (the same two who ran the 1/2 marathon with me) came over baring a cake, card and present. We sat around with Frank and Cristina eating cake and drinking tea/coffee. It was really really really sweet. I wasn’t expecting them bring a cake and it really made my day. Afterwords they hungout with me for a while and then later we went on a run.
 All and all it feels pretty good to be 19.

For Easter break we traveled to Malaga on the coast of southern Spain to spend a week and a half vacationing with Cristina’s parents. They own two flats about 3 miles from each other. The flat we stayed in was about 2mins walk from the beach, and equip with two large swimming pools. I had to share a room with the boys, which was surprisingly alright. Marco woke me up every morning by crawling up to my face and saying ‘Maya its daytime, I checked outside’. Aside from sleeping we spent very little time there. We spent our mornings doing various activities (zoo, amusement park, shopping, sightseeing) and then usually went to Cristina’s parents house for the afternoon. They live (when there on vacation, I should remind you that normally we go to their real house in southern Spain) in a flat in a huge horseshoe shaped white marble building. In the center of the U shape there is a garden complete with two pools. The front of the U shape is fenced in with glass and faces the beach. I would estimate that the water was 24ft away. It was the most ‘on the beach’ place I’ve ever been in. when you where in the pool and looked out, it looked like the ocean was part of it. It was absolutely gorgeous. The weather was sunny for most of the time I was there, and I only had to wear pants twice. It was wonderful.

The area where we where was super touristy. I heard more English than I did Spanish! All the signs, menus, etc where in English. It was a very posh town, I have never seen more children in matching outfits, hot mothers with fat husbands, or six year olds wearing prada sneakers, in my life. . The harbor was filled with yachts bigger than our house, and the streets where packed with Porsche’s, Ferrari’s, and Bentley convertibles. The whole time I was thinking ‘woah it would be great to live like this’ and then I would get a flash of Ocean Classroom and remember how much more awesome it is to go to places where brands don’t exist, and I hated myself for being just another dumb tourist. To the people there, going on vacation is about spending money, not about experiencing new cultures.

One day we drove up into the mountains to a scenic village, which I’m sure would have been much more fun had it not been drizzling. Because of the rain we spent almost the entire time in a cafe drinking hot chocolate and ordering cheese platters. I would have love to do more exploring, or have visited one of the many museums, but I guess that’s the down fall of traveling with others. On the way home we took a detour to visit another mountain village where the houses where literally built into the mountain. Think caves with a house front. Again, we didn’t walk around, we went to a cafe. We only ate dinner in one night the entire time I was there. I don’t think I’ve ever consumed so much seafood in such a short time. I think its safe to say we ate it twice a day. It was really good.

I spent all but roughly 8 hours (running, and once window shopping) with the family. I would have liked to experienced the night life, but because I didn’t know anyone/where to go/am broke I decided not too. Spending so much time with the fam was fine, but by the end of the week I was ready to come back home. We flew back late on Friday night and arrived home at about 3am on Saturday morning.

Saturday freinds of Frank and Cristina’s came over for the afternoon with there 3 children. Its always a little weird when they have friends come over, because if I where at home I would just do my own thing, but I don’t want to seem impolite, and sometimes the kids want to play with me, so I have to try and balance sitting around with the adults (who’s conversation I am not remotely interested in) and playing with the children. I don’t really belong to either group. In the evening I went into Köln with some Au Pair friends and we went to our favorite Irish pub. We regular Saturday night goers the bar tenders know us by name, and its always a good time. usually we in the early morning hours to go to a club and dance, but this time we just stayed. The bar closed at three and we were there until 6 just hanging out and enjoying free drinks. It was great. Yesterday I had to babysit for the afternoon and right now I’m at Pablo’s soccer practice.

I’m starting to feel like my time is running out and I’m not liking it….

Its scholarship season.
and let me tell you, filling out scholarships is 10x harder overseas, and about a million times more expensive. So I’ve been attempting to write essays for the first time in ten months. I actually almost enjoy it, because it gives me a feeling of purpose that I’ve been lacking. Going back to school is something I haven’t thought much about the last few months, and suddenly I’m getting re-excited for collage. I go to orientation seven days after I get back to the US. My time here is quickly wrapping up. I made a June calender page yesterday, and I can now see the end. (I even counted, 81 days) Its scary. On one hand I am so ready to come home, I cant wait to see the ocean, to ride my bike, have fires on the beach, walk Oliver, and practice everyday. On the other hand, I dont want to wish away my time, there is so much more I want to do whilel I’m here! I’m really trying to make it to Itally and France. On the practicing note, I’ve been looking into orchestra at UVM, and auditions are in the first week of school. I know I want to play with them, and hopefully fit some music classes into my schedule. I’ve also decided that I want to take German, and I’ll be taking the language placement test sometime later this week.

Other than mentally planning my actions for the next two months, I’ve been training for the Bonn half marathon, which is at the end of this month. Frank and I haven’t been running together lately, but I’ve been trying to go everyday, and on the weekends I train with the two other girls from track who are running it. The weather has been wonderful the past two days, clear sky and sunny. its supposed to get up to 20* Celsius at the end of this week. Yesterday I went to school with two friends from training. In the afternoon Marco and I worked on cleaning the sandbox of leaves. I made dinner (spaghetti-Marco’s request and homemade meatballs-first time and they were tasty tasty) and then babysat while Frank and Cristina where out.

I’m off to enjoy the sunshine.

I left the house on Thursday and caught a train about 6. (huge side note-a few weeks ago I got caught without a ticket on the train and talked my way out of a 40 euro fine, that same night I got caught again and for all my tears ended up forking over 40euros. since then I have invested in a monthly pass. completely worth it) to the airport in cologne. My flight was scheduled for 9:20 and check in opened 2 hours before. I checked in no problem, only to find out that my flight had been delayed half hour. After browsing though the Cosmo and all the available English tabloids in the only bookstore, I rechecked the board only to find out that my flight had been delayed again and would now be over an hour late. Now Cologne airport is small in general, but go there at night and its tiny. the few shops they have are closed, or closing, the waiting areas are literally not open. So I decided to wander back though security to see if there was anything open to entertain me on the other side…there wasn’t. and then coming back through security I of course set off the alarm and had to be thoroughly frisked, and then was told that I could not bring my brand spanking new, chalk full bottle of hair gel. I was less then pleased. About midway though the packed flight an announcement was made that went something like this ‘if there is a doctor on board, please let yourself be known’. I’m not really sure what all the fuss was about, but someone was ill enough that when we touched down in London (1.5 hours late) everyone was made to wait in there seats for ages while a medical crew boarded the plane. Then I spent another 40 minuets getting though customs where at, the nice lady told me that there was no way I was going to make my train. Tanya (the friend I was visiting, she is another Au pair working in köln.) called moments later to conform that there was no way I could make it to her house that night and to recommend that I wait at the airport until morning, rather than the train station, claiming that the station was ‘dodgy’. So I set about changing my euros to pounds, investing in a Cosmo and some peanuts and then camping out in a uncomfortable chair surrounded by other camperouters. I tried to sleep, but it simply was not going to happen so I set about wondering around. I somehow got sucked into a conversation between an American and a Spaniard and ended up chatting away the next 4 hours with them, until they discovered that they where both Jehovah’s witnesses and began excitedly pulling out there leaflets etc, at which point I mumbled about needed to buy a train ticket and took my leave. Anyway, I made it in one piece to Tanya’s town, Herne Bay (which is about an hour away from London in Kent), at about 7:30am. After meeting Tanya’s family I retired to sleep for the next few hours. That afternoon Tanya and I meet up with some of her friends and drove (driving on the wrong side really was not that strange, it was crossing the streets that really though me off, I was always looking the wrong way) into a larger town called ‘Canterbury’ where we did some ‘high street’ shopping. I invested in a new nose ring and some ’sweets’. That evening we had a pasta dinner with her family. I broke my no bread/pasta lent fast while I was England because (1) I forgot to tell Tanya about it before hand and (2) decided I would be lacking some cultural experience if I deprived myself of a real English Breakfast. (which by the way, everyone raved on and on about, but it seemed pretty normal to me) Afterwords we went to the movies and saw Marley and Me ( I would never have chosen this on my own and I do not recommend it to anyway at all what so ever). The next day we took a walking tour of Herne Bay. The weather was amazing, warm and sunny and we ended up spending a few hours relaxing on a stone beach. Saturday night a group of girls gathered at one of Tanya’s friends house and we did the typical getting ready to go out/ pizza eating routine which I had almost forgot what feels like. Our destination for the night? A gay club. I was skeptical at first, but it was a completely normal (mostly straight people there…I think.) club, and a total blast. English nights are not quite as crazy as German, and night was over by three. The next day dawned beautifully sunny and bright, we woke up at Tanya’s friends house right on the beach, and enjoyed our breakfast while watching the tide. It was lovely. Sunday was also mothers day, which appears to be a bigger deal there than in the US. We had a roast dinner at about 5 and Tanya’s grandparents came over to eat with us. On Monday we caught an 8:30 train into London, where we spent the day sightseeing and being tourists. We went on an excellent walking tour. I LOVED the little that I saw, and cannot wait to go back as soon as possible. Our flight back was in the evening, and went smoothly. Now I’m back in Germany where its raining and the sky is gray…home sweet home.

ps:I’ve been working on adding some photos so check em out!

There is no American Holiday comparable with Karnival, although if I had to pick the closest it would be Halloween simply because they both involve costumes. The actual day of Karnival is November 11. The day starts at 11:11 (on 11:11 you should note) and everyone pours to the streets in costume to spend the day drinking. I am not sure of the history as to why the rest of the Holiday is delayed until February, however that is the case. Apparently karnival was originally a way of purging on booze before the start of lent. Now its basically just a way of purging, I don’t know anyone who gave up drinking (or anything really) for lent. (although I’m very proud to say that I’ve cut pasta and bread from my diet, normally I do meat. But I thought this would be a better challenge because its All the bezelts eat!) Preparation for Karnival starts months before hand. costume shops spring up everywhere (huge department store size costume shops, they’re overwhelming), and if your in a rush or forgot a crucial part of your outfit you can buy a costumes almost everywhere you go, including small town grocery stores, all the towns break out the decorations (which mostly consist of clowns and anything brightly colored), The holiday kicks off on a Thursday and lasts until Tuesday. There is no school, and Monday EVERYTHING is closed. Now you may be thinking ‘okay this all sounds dandy…but what do you actually do?’ That’s certainly what I kept asking, and I could never get a clear response. The reason being, you don’t do anything! Carnival is all about going out into town with thousands of other people dressed to the nines with a bottle of beer in each hand, and possible one around your neck. People literally flock to the streets to stand there. Sure there is food, and the occasional band set up, but it is mostly just a mosh pit like crowd with everyone trying to get somewhere. There are all kinds of private Karnival parties, ones for senior citizens, for children, for young people. The tickets are go on sale weeks before hand and are hard to come buy. I have a friend on a Karnival committee (one of 100s) who scored a pair of tickets for Omi and I. There are also amazing parades. Each town has there one. Omi and i went to the Bad Honnef one on Sunday and to Koln on Monday. These parades put anything I’ve ever seen before to shame. The floats where amazing, there where minimal marching bands, and zero fire trucks. They throw out more candy then you could expect to get on a great night of trick-or-treating, and we ended up with enough to keep the cupboards full until next year. (literally, Cristina through some out that was left over from last year) The köln parade lasted 8hours, but we only dropped in for 2. I should mention that this whole Holiday is regional, and that when we went to Berlin we did not even see a flicker of recognition.

My laptop is now fixed, and I will be updating regularly again. Today is Franks birthday, and tomorrow I’m flying to England for a long weekend.

The first being that my younger sister, Naomi, has been here for the last twelve days (!!!!!!!!!!!) and the second that my laptop started sparking (huge sparks, I thought it was going to start a fire) and so now I can only use the computer for random short intervals when no one else is home. That being loads has happened.

As I already mentioned Naomi came! I went to pick her up on the train and then we came back, but the trip back took about two hours extra because we got on the wrong train. My train abilities have become a running joke with frank and Cristina. One of the wheels from her bag fell off (???gota have a word with delta on that one) so we ended up dragging her suitcase until there was a whole in the corner, and then tried every possible combination possible with two bags and two people taking lots of breaks on the walk home to let our arms rest. you may be thinking two bags for 12 days? that’s a lot! (so was Cristina when we walked in the door she said ‘…how long are you staying?) but the truth is that only one of them had Naomi’s things in it, the other was filled with thing I requested like baking soda vanilla extract, new socks, my scrapbook stuff etc.

We spent the first part of her stay doing a combination of touristy things and normal’ness’ for me. On Saturday we sent the morning with the boys and then the afternoon in Bonn. I bought the final touches for my sailor carnival costume, and she invested in a pirate outfit. That night we went out for some dancing at the local(ish) club. Sundays are always a bit of a bore (seeing as everything is closed) and we stayed at home apart for lunch out at Frank and Cristina’s favorite pasta/pizza place. That afternoon we made chocolate chip cookies with the boys. Let me quickly explain the significant of this. They do not have chocolate chips in Germany (or vanilla extract or baking soda for that matter) so this is a huge deal for the boys. On Monday it rained cats and dogs, we couldn’t even do a walking tour of bad honnef. On Tuesday it was it was still miserable outside but we grabbed some umbrellas and spend the day in Köln. On the way home we found the Haribo outlet store (did I mention that Haribo is made in Bonn?) It takes the phrase ‘kid in a candy store’ to a whole new level. This was a candy supermarket. I have never seen so much candy in my life. We had a sweet time stalking up (okay it was all gone by that night) in the two isles of bulk candy. That evening we hunkered down for a movie night, Naomi picked out badman two. I spent about 30% of the movie with my hands infornt of my face, and still managed to have nightmares. On wednesday we went to school with one of my friends from track. However it was the last day before the carnival holiday, so not much teaching occured and it was not a very realistic experence. On Thursday we packed a backpack and headed off to spend a few nights in Berlin.
 But that and the details of carnival will have to wait until the next time, check back early next week

I think one of the strangest experiences anyone can have is living in someone else’s house. Living there short term (as apposed to say getting adopted) is even stranger. I’ve been living here for close to 7 months, and I think of this as ‘home’,  and I think of Frank, Cristina and the boys as my ‘family.’ but what are they really? a substitute family? No, its not even that. Frank and Cristina by no means try to act the part of parents, but they are as close to the real thing as I have hear. Frank is the one I go to when my bike is broken, Cristina brings me medicine when I’m sick. However I can never quit figure out our relationship. Or even the relationship between themselves, which is alarming because when I have always known how my mom and dad react to different things. Who calls the shots in what situations. Who makes sure the bills are paid on time, who is willing to spend the day driving the kids around, who makes our doctors appointments. I know the things they have mutual enjoyment/respect for, and which they simply tolerate for eachothers happiness. I can tell through actions, or the tone of voice when one is upset or angry about something. I know which person to go to with which questions, who is more likely to say yes to what, who will see eye to eye with me.

Here I am completely in the dark. That is of course understandable when you take in to account that i lived at home for 18 years, not 7 months. However I would have guessed it would be easier to read than it is. I feel that I am always walking on thin ice. The rules are not clearly defined. I don’t know who to go to with what problems or questions.

My way of dealing with this has been to walk lightly. I am cautious with most actions-if I want to drink tea in my room I try to bring my cup upstairs when no one is looking, I prefer to shower when no one is at home so that I can parade around in my towel if I feel like it. When I want to ask something I will wait until both parties are present. Just living is a constant game.

In general the last week has been fairly bleak, with a few awesome highlights. I had a fabulous weekend, on Friday after training I went out with some of the girls to a large disco between here and Bonn. Its great because its not very far away, you always see people you didn’t plan to meet there, and its huge. In fact its the biggest disco between here and köln. One of the girls from athletics, Nina, spent the night with me afterwords. Which was a semi important step for me, because aside from my friend Emily who came for the weekend in the fall, I don’t really have many people over to the house. On Saturday it was nice enough outside to set up Pablo’s new soccer goals, and we spent most of the afternoon playing outside. That night Frank and Cristina dropped me off in Bonn where I meet up with two Au pairs, and from there we traveled to Köln where we had an Au Pair night with 11 Au Pairs! It was a total riot, we all went out to dinner and got to know each other, talked about of different situations. The extremes where crazy, from one girl who’s family was so bad she was planning on running away the following Tuesday, to another who’s family pays all of here traveling (example:she wants to go to Paris for the weekend, the cover her flight). One thing that’s strange about what I’m doing is that no one else is doing exactly what you are. Its not like school where you have a bad class, but you know that everyone in the class is there together. Here everyone situations are different, everyone you meet is at a different strange of there Au Pairness, some have only been here for two weeks and cant speak any German, some have been here 7 months and will be gone in two weeks. I think that makes it very hard to form lasting friendships, already all of the Au Pairs who I hung out with in the fall are gone. anyway the night was very enjoyable, and Sunday came to quickly. Monday Cristina had a stomach flu and stayed in bed, I got it on Tuesday night and only got about two hours of sleep. At one point in the night Frank came to see if there was anything he could do for me, but of course there wasn’t, all I wanted was my mother! I even contemplated calling home at 3 in the morning! I spent all of yesterday recovering. This morning I woke up feeling well enough, and the day has been normal! I hope hope hope that I am done being sick, its really getting me down.

I thought I would end by pointing out a few things that are Different here: -you do not get an ATM receipt ever. If you want a receipt there is a second machine next to the ATM machine that will give you a print out of your balance. I find this very unpractical. -All the school children have the same backpack. There is only one brand of backpacks, depending on the age of the child they will look different. you can tell what grade a child is in by the type of backpack they have! - All of the post is delivered by bike, the post office people drive around on these yellow (yellow is the color of the national post service here, so yellow uniforms, yellow building, yellow post boxes, etc) bikes with a spacial trailer behind for the letters.

All last week Marco stayed home from kindergarten sick with a fever, cough, headache, and occasional stomach ache. On Tuesday Cristina was so sick she spent the day in bed. Frank was in China, Pablo and I appeared to be healthy. I picked Pablo up from school everyday, and spent the afternoons with him.  on Friday  I began to feel ill which was horrendous timing, because later that evening two of Cristina’s friends from Spain were arriving for a kid free weekend. Which meant that I was working Saturday and Sunday from the time I woke up till the time I went to sleep. The boys and i felt alright for the weekend thanks to some powerful medicine, and even went to the aquarium on Sunday. This obviously have been much more fun had we all been in good health, but it was still enjoyable, and I was really proud that I took them on the subway, and to a crowded public place by myself. On Monday Marco stayed home again, and I played with him for the morning, however as soon as Cristina’s friends were out the door I retired to my room for some much needed recovery.Not only was did I have a mild fever, a hacking cough, and no voice, but I had not had a moment to myself for 2 solid days. No running (although I was to sick to anyways, I didn’t go to track on Friday), no practicing, no gym, no cooking, no friends. I was unable to go to orchestra, but woke up yesterday feeling much better (after two aspirins-which btw are huge and you have to dissolve in water, it tastes horrible!) in the afternoon I tuned in the inauguration. It was wonderful and I’m so glad that I took the time to watch it.(I will admit that I painted my nails during the poem, it just didn’t cut it for me)  It was a little depressing to be celebrating alone in my room, but not so bad. I even sang my country tis of thee along to my TV set. (okay, so that was depressing) Its the first inauguration I have ever watched and it was a great experience.Although I honestly believe that if I had been in the US I would have gone to Washington to be there.  I woke up this morning feeling great, knowing that change has at last come to my country.  When I was practicing today, I couldn’t help but to play ’tis a gift to be simple’, I would love to see the music for what they actually played! I feel like ending this update with a God Bless American. But I think that may be a bit to much.

Monday was the eve of 3 kings day. In the afternoon we went to a parade/procession though the street. We stood in the rain along with thousands of other people huddled under umbrellas while it poured cats and dogs. Aside from the rain it was really a nice show. First there were elaborate floats for each of the elements, then each king had his own very personalized float with a procession of dancers and such in front of it. After dinner we all cleaned one shoe and then placed it under the (fake) Christmas tree. The boys arranged a tray of cookies/candies/champion to leave out for the kings and water for the camels. After the boys were in bed I was showed out of the room and not aloud to glimpse of the presents. (again, all were from the 3 kings, so there were none previously under the tree)

I could hardly sleep that night, I was so excited! what would I get? I wondered. ‘I bet something awesome, but if not that’s okay because when I get home I have a package waiting for me from my family. oh yay yay yay’  The next morning I went upstairs (I sleep in the basement) and waited with the family outside the closed living room doors. We sang two songs, and various people peeked through the doors to see if they had come, or if they where still there. Then we finally aloud in. (again) Presents were not left under the tree, rather around it next to your shoe. No labels what so ever, just the shoe. Everyone opened at the same time, not knowing or caring what those around them were receiving. I got an amazing bag, which I am 100% in love with. After the last of the wrapping paper and been torn off, we migrated to the dining room were we ate the typical 3 kings breakfast of hot chocolate (hot chocolate pudding) and some sort of cream filled cake. It felt much more like christmas to me than actual christmas did.

However as soon as we had eaten our fill we began to get ready to leave Spain. The biggest trick was to pack all the gifts into our suitcases, but somehow we managed. We had a early afternoon flight back followed by an hour plus in the car, and then HOME.

And here I am back in Bad Honnef, and I’m so glad the Holidays are over!